SOLUTION: This is what I did and worked like a dream. Contacted HP, told them the problem. They "escalated the case," took my info. The next day I was emailed a file called SMC.bin. It is formatted specifically for my machine, has to match the UUID. Copied file to FAT 32 formatted jump drive, booted it as per the email instructions, reset bios password.
I did this via chat on HP's website.
Screwing with the bios battery will not work on Elitebook...